Sisterhood of the Sexy Underpants presents: Innaugural Sexy Undies Day

Move over, Traveling Pants(suits)...a new Sisterhood is taking over! Because every woman needs to do a little sexy something for themselves. After all, who says you need a man as an excuse to wear sexy lingerie?

As per our agreement on this most auspicious day, I will keep a little log of the happenings on our very first Sexy Undies Day.

6:30am
Woke up from a pretty nasty dream involving me, a school building, and hiding in the bathroom stalls from Nazis with a bunch of little kids.

7:00am
Selected a pair of lacy burgundy thongs for Sexy Undies Day. Commenced to shower, get dressed for work. Feeling rather subversive, to be wearing sexy underwear under plain khakis and a demure black sweater.

8:30am
Finally arrived at work. Damn traffic. Did a rather perfect parking job though, if I may say so myself. I took yesterday off, so there was a rather alarming amount of messages in my inbox. Sigh. At least today will be a busy day with catch-up.

9:30am
Eating pumpkin pie for breakfast. Heart rate jumping somewhat from the sugaryness, I think...I am weaksauce...

10:45am
Inspired by sexy underwear, did a bit of prancing in the bathroom. Then composed self professionally, and came out of the bathroom looking ready to do professional work-type things. Like post ads.

11:10am
Received the following message from Jess: "jess missed class because she was too busy trying to look hot today". Hahaha. Actually she didn't, but was a little late.

12:00pm
Was a little hungry, so began eating lunch. Today, it was chicken salad (I think...it may have been tuna...for some reason, I really couldn't tell) between two halves of the biggest bagel I have ever seen.

2:20pm
Finished eating chicken salad bagel sandwich. (Later, it would turn out it was tuna fish. Clearly, taste buds have been felicitously tricked into thinking the tuna was chicken! This was miracle could have only occurred through the intervening powers of the thong. Obviously).

5:00pm
Yay! Time to go home! Work actually passed by quite quickly today.

6:00pm
I get home just as my mom is setting the table for dinner. Perfect timing, yo!

6:30pm
We leave to go to my brother's Holiday concert at Mercer Middle School. He is in the band, and practices his mallet work in the car. It was odd.

6:45pm
My parents and I gossip with abandon from our seats in the auditorium. Damn it, I forgot my camera! Oh well, not like I could see Eddie anyway...percussion is always in the very very back of the stage.

7:10pm
A young girl, looking about 14 or 15, threads through the seats a few rows ahead and to the side of us. She is wearing blue jeans, a snug white shirt, and that perennial expression of teenagers that says "Ugh, I am totally too cool for this little holiday whatever." Her image of perfect pouty adolescence was marred by the fact that she, apparently, was celebrating Slutty Underwear Day--due to her shirt riding up in the back, the entire audience was treated the bright red thong strap that blazed across her lower back like a declaration of trampiness. A mom-aged woman (not sure if Red Thong girl and this woman knew each other) pulled down on the girl's shirt as she passed in by her. The girl did a backward glance, an eye roll, and continued down the row without saying a word.

7:30pm
The guy sitting in front of me (with his WIFE) keeps turning around and giving us slightly startled glances. Is he concerned that we are babbling about him in Chinese? Or...is he just confused by the sexy that has apparently permeated through the atmosphere of the room? I'm going to go with the latter.

8:40pm
I return "High School Musical" to Blockbuster. Ahem. Not that um, I watched it with uh, Jess or anything, over Thanksgiving. AHEM.

come down from that high, b/c i can see through you

Go ahead

Go ahead and put yourself in the arms of a China doll

Skin like moon from a bottle
Dark eyes and silky hair, perfectly streaked with boutique gold
She moves in a swirl of affected flirtatiousness
Two-dimensional coyness in the round
It’s hard to tell where the saccharine laughter ends and her personality begins
But I can see how you taste her with your eyes

She has all the cute mannerisms down pat
Knowing how to use the little niceties of hand and voice that some men eat up
She wears a vapid mask, pouts with feigned innocence
She’s vanilla sex in a shimmery pink dress
For you with accessorize with
Your stash of romantic comedy clichés and
The cheap swagger you stole from gangster flicks

Your professions of romantic cynicism are only a cover for what you really wanted:
The Asian girl who can play the damsel role
Whose convenient headaches wrap her against your shoulder,
Letting you feel as though your wit and charm alone can cure her
Someone who bolsters your precious ego with a simpering smile
That promises adoration superficial

I thought you knew better than
To model yourself after a music video
What makes you desire the kind of naïve love and
so-called suffering as conveyed in a 4-minute song?
What is it that makes you seek this vacant womanhood?
Is it because she is too demure to ever pull down your pants
And realize that she needs a magnifying glass to find your manhood?

It disappoints me that you prefer
An ersatz romance that exists in your head
But I’ve learned to respect my own bed
I won’t apologize for my fears and flaws
I’m not sorry that intelligence drops from my jaws
Because I refuse to be confused with plastic
I won’t be sheathed in frills, ill with what other people think an Asian girl should be

But let me tell you something
She may have been raised to please but
She’s more than just the sugary gaze that she makes herself out to be
And she’s not going to be all dress up and games
One day she’s going to want to be real
And you are no Blue Fairy
But a puppet, pulled by the strings of insecurity,
Enslaved by hazy fantasies

So go ahead

Go ahead and dance with your China doll

Because I won’t be anything but a real girl
And I’m going to find myself
A real man

we sure are cute for two ugly people

So I saw Cowboy vs. Samurai last weekend, courtesy of Eddy and his amazing awesomeness. Not only did he fight for, cast and direct the show, he also procured Amtrak tickets for me so that I could go see it. Much props to Eddy. I can only hope that the champagne I bought (which came with a FREE wine carrier bag thingie that was a handsome burgundy color) went to good celebratory use.

I think what struck me most about the play was the reactions of the people who saw it--or didn't see it. Some people saw it as another step to bringing Asian American voices to the forefront of the campus community. Some people saw it as another effort to discuss the tired topic of identity. True, the topic can be exhaustive. But if we don't talk about it, who will? If Asian Americans aren't willing to stand up and voice an opinion about what it's like to grow up in America, who's going to do it for us? Our experiences are our own to tell. It's too easy to pretend to only be one or the other--to ONLY be Korean, or Chinese, or whatever. Even if we don't think about it all the time, it still affects us. Lately, I've heard some of my American-born Asian friends express the desire to marry only "un-Americanized" Asians. Now, what the fuck does that mean? Are Americanized Asians somehow tainted in some way? It's an interesting prospect, to think that my identity as an Asian American is somehow not good enough for someone because of the former or latter descriptives in my title. So personally, I think that the play was very relevant to these current trends. And honestly, I thought that that was the role of the multicultural student organizations on campus: to not only act as a social outlet for its members, but to continue a dialogue with the greater campus community. Otherwise, it's just a bunch of people who look alike, getting together and drinking. Fun, yes. But if that's the only thing they're doing, why bother having meetings and a constitution? Why bother calling it a club? I can do the same thing with my friends and not have to pay dues. But I digress. Point being, I thought Cowboy vs. Samurai was awesome.

The rest of the weekend was also very enjoyable, almost too much so. Highlights include:
- Being sequestered in a smallish bathroom with Caroline and Jess, weighing ourselves on a rather unforgiving scale and trying not to knock things into the toilet
- Lunch at the UC w/ Kang and Ted. Oh, how I have missed the UC food...uh. Yeah...
- Adam, as the most hilariously confused angry Asian man that I have ever seen in my entire life. The role of "Chester" really was written for him.
- Dinner with the Wongs, where Caroline and I may or may not have tucked mini-tridents into our purses for Preston...god, we are such kleptos...
- Taking artsy silhouette shots at the Muscarelle with the most random and hilarious bunch of people. This is something that I've wanted to do for like, the last four years. Another check in my "To-Do List"!
- Late night walk out to Matoaka, where several members of our group broke out in a spontaneous accappella rendition of the "Meow Mix" jingle. The boys shared a touching moment when they all peed together in to the lake. The girls mostly just rolled our eyes and tried not to trip over stuf.
- A very cold, early morning coffee catch-up with Kim!
- Getting a "Say Kimchi" T-shirt from Ben. It makes me hungry...I haven't had good kimchi since Connie's this past summer. SAD FACE.
- Adam taking me to the train station, even waiting with me until the train came. Which was nice of him, considering he had like 4 hours of sleep and a play to do in a scant 2 hours.

It was kind of nice to be back in that college environment, where your friends are just a 5 minute walk away, where your biggest concerns are writing that paper by Tuesday or passing your ridiculous gender studies class. I missed that. I miss having time/energy/people to paint, cooking eggs and sausages for six (or eight...or ten) people, impromptu heart to hearts in front of Nicholas. But that chapter's over. Come Monday, it's waking up by myself at 6:30am to get ready for work, like the rest of the world. But it was nice for a weekend, to just be immersed in that familiar feeling of being with friends, and pretending for a few days that I, too, didn't have to worry about my horrible banking situation (yes, it's been 2 months, and my life's savings are STILL floating around somewhere in Bank of America-land...I will write a cathartic post about it once it's all over for good) and finding a new job in Chicago in less than 2 months so I'll have a fighting chance of paying off my gigantic student loans (also a really beast coat, so that I will have a fighting chance at staying alive). W&M has always been this...happy bubble place for me. But people can't live in happy bubble places forever.

Sitting on the train on the way home, a line from one of my favorite Mae songs ran through my head: This time is the last time.

Yeah. I guess it really is.

watching movies in another car

So back to trying to stick to my resolution of writing more in the upcoming year...it's been a while. Anyhow.

Every week day, I spend a full two hours on the road. One hour to get to work, one hour back. The sun's liminal zones have become a familiar part of my day, mostly in the sense that I am slightly too short to be covered by the sun visor so I'm always adjusting and re-adjusting my face so that I can actually see the road over the glare. (Yeah, doesn't that make you feel just that much better about little Asian women driving? Sometimes we literally cannot see where we're going!!)

So on this one particular day, I'm stuck in the afternoon traffic. I'm about half-way home, I think 92.5 was on their #2 most-requested song of the day (my car, Arthur, sadly does not have a CD player so I'm pretty much a slave to the radio. That being said, my standards for "good music" has deteriorated greatly since I've been home). So I'm looking around absent-mindedly, and I notice that the minivan in front of me has one of those new-fangled built-in DVD players set up for their kid(s). And because I am stuck in traffic, I start watching it too (they say TV sucks out your brains, and it is sooo true). The washed out color makes me think it's an older movie, or maybe even a black-and-white one. An episode of I Love Lucy, perhaps? Seems like an odd choice of entertainment for a little kid, though I admit, I did enjoy it when I was little, even if I wasn't entirely sure what was going on. I inch Arthur a little bit closer, trying to figure it out.

There are two kids in the show, whatever it is. Definitely two children. And...a lanky man. With a...broom, is it? Odd. Okay, not I Love Lucy. Oh but there's also a woman. She's dressed in a rather old-fashioned manner, long full skirt, long coat, hat. Kind of prim. And she has a gigantic hand-bag. And she's...oh she's pulling something long and poley from the bag OH MY GOD IT'S MARY POPPINS!!

I'd like to say that I didn't squeal and let go of the wheel and clap my hands in excitement, but that would be most opposite of the truth. I squealed. I let go of the wheel. And I definitely clapped my hands. I was so excited to watch Julie Andrews work her governess magic, I almost didn't see the car in the next lane that was trying to edge in in front of me. Luckily, I did see him (unlike the time when I was driving home from a lovely day in DC with Ryan and Cat when I almost broadsided a Range Rover while merging onto I-66, which would have killed all of us instantly as Arthur is 1. a small Acura Integra, 2. he is almost 20 years old, which means 3. he has almost zero safety features, such as airbags or lap belts. But that's another story for another day), and so grudgingly let him in. I hope that car enjoyed watching Mary Poppins as much as I did, b/c it definitely made my day.

unspecified musings

I had a rather amusing conversation with my cousin, Adam, today. We are both Chinese, and sometimes we affectionately call him by his pet name, Yonkee. We had the following conversation today:

Adam: guess what tomorro is
Me: MID AUTUMN FESTIVAL
Adam: ROCKBAND 2 Release
Adam: son

That exchange made me laugh for some reason. Like...we both grew up here, and yet we've gone in such different directions with our identities. I think I've embraced whatever heritage it is that I have a lot more in the past few years, while Adam has turned more mainstream American. It's just funny to think that I've been thinking about the Mid-Autumn Festival and wishing that I could eat all the yummy foods (I got my wisdom teeth out yesterday...not cool), and Adam's eagerly anticipating a game of some sort (yeah I really don't know much about games...apparently it's really cool?). It's funny because we grew up together; he's been there for me every step of the way, and I know that he would support me no matter what. And yet we've turned out so different. Not that it really makes a difference, I still think that he's a great person whether or not he can use chopsticks. It's just funny, that's all, really. That really, our faces don't say as much about us as other people might like to think.

Or...that I'd like to think...

Ode to Colette

I found five yesterdays in my mailbox today,
Yesterdays that I didn’t know I had lost,
Neatly disguised as cardboard rectangles.
The familiar handwriting was like a spell to my eyes,
Taking me back to a time of
Spindly legs and best friends,
Where tomorrows were a bright unknown
And yesterdays tucked away, forgotten.

Play Packet Proposal

A. Catalyst: Mark makes a careless remark about immigrants taking American jobs, which escalates into a full-blown argument about racism in America.
B. Concept: Discussing the complexities of racism in America.
C. Conflict: The present racial situation in America (Jena 6, people who don’t want to acknowledge that it exists, backlash against own culture)
D. Character Sketches:
1. Mark Callahan: handsome, charismatic man in his late 20s/early 30s who works for a consulting firm. He is a proud Irish-American who comes from a family that has worked its way up in the American social ladder since the Potato Famine in the 1850s. He’s having some troubles with his girlfriend, Brenda aka Bebe, and wonders if free love isn’t the solution to his particular social problem. The furthest that he has traveled outside the U.S. has been to Cancun with Bebe.
2. Chris Rohrbach: Idealistic romantic in mid/late 20s who has never had a girlfriend. He is a little insecure about his looks (is a sturdy-set, but not heavyset). Though he works for a non-profit microfinance organization, he secretly wants to be a famous screenwriter and make films. He feels that he ought to be less materialistic, but cannot let go of his “superficial” comforts (movies, books). He comes from a State Department background, and so has lived in different places in Africa, Asia, and Europe, but admits that the only language that he can speak is English.
3. Evelyn Chen: Taiwanese-American woman in her mid-twenties who works for a publishing company. She is not a great dresser, but secretly harbors a love for fashion; though she wants to be a reputable writer, she also loves the glitz of glamour magazines. She owns a small grey cat named Hypotenuse (Nunu, for short) that she is hiding from her landlord. She has a disdain for people who think highly of the U.S. despite never really experiencing other countries; by the same token, she is proud to hold a U.S. passport and to say that she is an American.
E. Philosophical World: Ignoring racial differences does not make racial equality; racial equality is made through acknowledging and accepting racial differences.
F. Physical World: Mark, Chris, and Evelyn are three young Americans trapped together in an elevator as they head home from work.
G. Point of Attack: Evelyn retaliates to Mark’s racially-charged comments with choice remarks of her own, and the all three find themselves in unfamiliar territory that they must resolve in order to keep peace in the elevator.
H. Story Synopsis: Racism is an issue that America still struggles with today. It is no longer as black and white as it was in the days of slavery and segregation, but grows increasingly complex as we become a more global society.
I. Plot Synopsis: Three Americans confront the issues of racism in modern America when they find themselves trapped together in an elevator.
J. Plot Outline: The three characters are trapped in an elevator, and to pass the time while they wait to be rescued, they make casual conversation. Mark inadvertently brings up the touchy subject of racism, and tension soon escalates between all three characters. Each of the characters’ personal opinions on race in America is challenged and changed to accommodate perspectives that are different from their own. When they are finally rescued, all three have become a little more open-minded.

Getting Started

One thing that I've noticed from reading Fugard and Sartre is that a lot of action can happen within a closed space. Neither Fugard nor Sartre's plays require scene changes, and yet a whole story can be told. Also, neither Fugard nor Sartre use a large cast; at most, there are 4 people on the stage at a time. In fact, Fugard's plays have been with a 2-person cast.

This is something that I would like to experiment with, mostly because I have really had much experience in building up characters before. Before I try to tackle something with a lot of characters, I think I would like to focus on just 2 or 3, perhaps in an enclosed space. I also really liked the style of "Colored Girls" that IPAX did last fall, with the monologues and the poetry. So I've been thinking a lot about the three plays that we've read thus far, but I'm still not quite sure where to go with it. Part of me wants to continue on the Asian American/identity theme of last semester (something like Hwang's "Bondage" would be super cool), but part of me also wants to move in a different direction. Like write something funny, or something.

For the writing exercise that we did on Tuesday, I set my story in an elevator that breaks down. Three people are stuck in it, and are forced to converse until they are rescued. I guess there's really no reason for them to be stuck in the elevator together except for the sake of the story (they would otherwise never talk to each other). I'm still developing their characteristics, but I am pretty sure that two of them will be male (a racist and an idealist?), and one of them will be female (perhaps an Asian American?). I haven't started actually writing it, but am just trying to get to know them a little better before I put words in their mouths.

A Green and Bleached Blonde Affair

Cast:
Lindsay Lohan
Al Gore

LL: Forsooth, my ears do hear a sound divine! 'Tis my cellular device. Pray, who may be calling me at this time? The sun has long given way to the reign of the Queen Moon and her starry associates.
AG: Fair maid! Is that you?
LL: Al Gore? Pray tell what brings you to my ear?
AG: Is this an inconvenient time for you? Tell me truly.
LL: Well, no. But it is rather out of the usual.
AG: My darling of the russet...bleached...white trash...locks! Your skin is like burnt ersatz sunshine! How I long to envelope you in my arms like a homeless, oil-slicked seal!
LL: Oh, Al! Truly?
AG: Your eyes twinkle more brightly than the shiniest recycled bottled in all this world!
LL: Oh, Al! To be with you tonight would make me happier than a newly polished pole in the hottest club in New York! No throbbing techno music could ever compare with the dulcet monotone of your voice!
AG: Let us meet, then. Beneath the hangar of my private jet, we will make our commotion heard to Mother Nature herself.

Knots of Blood

As per the assignment, here are my seven summation sentences (whew, almost too much alliteration there for me to handle!):
Sc. 1: Two brothers: Zach is a man who is content with what he knows and sees, but Morris is a man who wants something more.
Sc. 2: From the letter-writing, we see that Zach is a man of the flesh, while Morris is a man of thought.
Sc. 3: The color of one's skin makes all the difference, even when growing up; even so, the color of one's skin does ot necessarily dictate the company that one keeps.
Sc. 4: Zachariah convinces Morris to dress up to meet Ethel, which is ironic because Morris is essentially a while man who must pretend to be a white man.
Sc. 5: The dialogue between Zach and Morris betray their true racial heritages; however, Morris seems to have some guilt regarding his white appearance.
Sc. 6: Zach questions the inferiority of his blackness, and whether or not he is beautiful, too, despite his skin color.
Sc. 7: Although Zach and Morris are "play-acting," they are actually playing the roles that society has assined to their skin colors; in the end, Morris decides that it is what flows through one's veins that decides family, not what one's appearance.