2012 and 26

Happy 2012, everyone!

We're not even two weeks into the new year, and it already feels like a lot has happened. For one thing, I turned 26 a scant three days in 2012, so I'm starting off the new year closer to 30 than 20. It's sort of a weird feeling, I guess, to be on the mid/late side of my 20s. What did I ever do in my early 20s anyway? Shouldn't I have a lot more accomplished by now? Like popped out a kid or three?

Anyway, 2012 is going to be a big year, I can feel it! I feel older and wiser already. For instance, instead of eating a cookie for dessert tonight, I'm munching on a bag of healthful Quaker Oatmeal Squares. (Okay, who am I kidding? Oatmeal squares, while one of the more delicious cereals, is no excuse for a Pepperidge Farm Nantucket soft-baked cookie. Sigh. Really, I should just stop trying, since I know I'll end up eating the cookie anyway. Might as well skip the cereal altogether and save a few calories.)

Before we launch into this brand new shiny year though, I'd like to take a look back at 2011. Just briefly, since my memory is poor and I haven't been keeping up with my journaling as well as I should. Here we go:

January
Year began on a wicked awesome note, with Tyler and me watching fireworks at Navy Pier in Chicago.

February
Experienced Chicago's worst blizzard in a decade, including the phenomenon of "thunder snow." I know, I didn't think it was real either...until lightning started zipping through the snow storm. Very eerie.

March
I apply, on a whim, to a job in DC that a friend sent me, also on a whim.

April
I'm sure something happened in April. Hmm. But what?

May
Ditto. I vaguely just remember it being really, really cold that spring. Oh right and I got called in for an interview at DC job and had to fly out to the East Coast very abruptly. Thought interview went horribly. Also developed a weird itchy skin condition. That might be TMI. Sorry!

June
Week 1: Got the job! Week 2: Got engaged! Week 3: We find out my dad has late-stage stomach cancer.

July
Subletted my apartment in Evanston. Found lodging in Arlington. Began new job. Lots of fretting. Lots of praying. And we also attended two weddings, one in Atlanta, Georgia, and one in Sturgeon Bay, Wisconsin.

August
Settled into the routine. Attended another wedding, this time in Ohio. I think in Columbus, but maybe it was Cincinnati. Or neither.

September
Went on my very first business trip! Visited our colleagues in Seattle, Washington, and Anchorage, Alaska. My new work spouse and I also took in a flight-seeing tour in Alaska, where we got to land and explore a glacier. Seriously one of the most beautiful places I've ever seen. Also picked out bridesmaid dresses.

October
I find my wedding dress. Dad gets surgery. Brother's birthday. Wedding #4 in Danville, Illinois.

November
Tyler moves to VA! Thanksgiving with my family for the first time in many years. Black Friday shopping at Tyson's with the one and only Sunny.

December
First couple's weekend with Anna and Kevin in Williamsburg, Virginia -- very fun! Kind of weird to be back at my alma mater, but not in a bad way. Somehow not surprised to see good ol' Tucker Hall smothered in scaffolding and tarp...about time the old girl got a makeover. Like maybe the sewer hole can finally be filled in, and not covered with a bulletin board. Anyway. Then Christmas in the Midwest for the first time ever. I was sick for most of it, but it was still tons of fun. Def looking forward to many years of holidays with the Blues.

And here we are. Wedding planning in full swing. My dad's treatment ends on January 18, and none of us can wait for it to be behind us. 2011 was a crazy year, but I have a good feeling about 2012. It's going to be a good year. It has to be.

of tights and tight situations

The last two weeks have gotten away from me again! That wasn't planned. It's been busy at work, and I've done overtime nearly every day this month. But that's okay! Gotta save up those comp hours for honeymoon, right?

So I just want to talk about how much I love and adore tights. I was first introduced to sweater tights when I moved to Chicago, wearing them for insulation under my jeans. (Sweater tights are basically like long underwear that you don't mind other people seeing.) The sweater tights were brown and pink striped a la Wicked Witch of the East, and I actually wore them for Halloween this year. But aside from my witch tights, I also have just normal solid tights in black, brown, fuschia, teal, patterns, etc. I mean, my tights drawer is getting a little out of control. In an awesome way.

My former colleagues did not quite appreciate my great taste in legwear, but luckily I've moved into a much more artsy office. It's funny, but business-types really are different from writer/designer-types. My epiphany moment was when I was complimented on my outfit of knee-length maroon skirt, grey tights, black shirt and sweater -- the same outfit which had prompted several former colleagues to inform me that I looked like a grandma. I don't know what that really means about the way my office dresses, but we definitely don't look like an off-shoot of Joseph A. Brooks Brothers of Benetton. (Not that we can afford to shop at those places anyway...)

An upside to living in DC is that my tights-flaunting time frame has expanded considerably from approximately three weeks in the fall and two weeks in the "spring" aka June. Chicago gets cold so quickly that, most of the time, my tights were hidden under a pant leg. But here, it's been perfect tights weather since September! Months and months of tights!

But the downside to sheathing one's legs in transparent stretchy material is that the stuf catches on absolutely everything. I was quite distraught this morning when my new comfy aubergine tights (from Target!) snagged on THE BOTTOM OF MY DESK WTF. After a brief flurry of consultation with Internet and colleagues, I went out during lunch to buy an emergency bottle of clear nail polish.

This is what transpired after I huffed and puffed back into the office. To be fair, I also bought an empanada at the DC Holiday Market, so part of it was me trying to walk and eat at the same time. Def not b/c I haven't gone to the gym since I moved from Chicago. But I digress.

Me [to our intern]: Greg, can you open this for me?
Greg: Sure. What is it?
Me: Nail polish.
Greg [looking perplexed, but too polite to ask]: Uhh okay. [tries unsuccessfully to get the cap off] I don't know, I think it's stuck or something.
Me: Right. Which is why I asked you to open it.
Greg [doubtfully looking at the nail polish]: I think you need to run it under hot water or bang it on something.
Me: Um. It's okay, thanks for trying. [suddenly realizing that Greg must think I'm a huge slacker for having nail polish at work] Oh! This isn't for my nails. I'm not giving myself a manicure over here! What! Ha! I need it for my tights.
Greg: Oh. Right. [very awkward pause] What are tights?
Hilary (my amazing awesome and very well-dressed work spouse): Tights. Stockings. You know. Hosiery. Come on, you know what tights are.
Greg: Well, no, actually, I don't.
Me: [still trying convince him of my non-slackerly-ness] NAIL POLISH FIX TIGHTS.
Greg: You know, I'm going to just go back to writing this essay...

Our intern is learning a lot. I'm sure this is something he will look back with fondness, perhaps chuckle over how completely sane and normal his co-workers were.

Well, it's been a while

I'm sure by now whoever stumbles upon this little page is either lost, or perhaps is a curious old friend wondering if I ever bother to update this thing anymore. Either way, hello, welcome and welcome back.

In a way, I suppose I am welcoming myself back, too. It's been quite a while since I last wrote, and I really have no excuses. Well, maybe a couple. June 2011 really took us all for a spin, and I haven't felt much like writing since.

Long story short: in the space of 3 weeks, I got a new job, got engaged, and got really bad news about a family member's health. I feel like I've squeezed more life into the last few months than I have in the last couple of years combined.

And it's funny, but it's like..all of these things that happen act as a sort of sieve, you know? Like everyone I know is a rock or a pebble or a speck of dust, all being shuffled through this net. It's really let me see who my Big Rocks are, whether it's just an "Are you still alive?" text or forcibly dragging me out to a bridal salon to pick out a dress. Each gesture, big or small, really does matter. Really. I know on the outside I might be panicked or pissed off or even apathetic...but they really do matter. So, not to get all sappy and gross, but...thank you. I know I haven't been the best at getting back in touch (or getting on gchat...OKAY OKAY I GET IT, I'm not on gchat very much even though I keep saying I will). Honestly, sometimes I just feel too fretful to talk. Some people are really good writers when they're sad or upset; I prefer to get overemotional while watching horrible television. (Yeah, I watched a lot of L&O: SVU. Yeah, it's made me cry. More than once. You wanna fight???) But really -- thanks.

So I guess the latest updates are: I quite like my new job, and am doing my best to become indispensable so I don't get laid off if the government shuts down. Tyler has moved to VA, so it's been good seeing him on a regular basis. Health issues...well, I don't want to jinx anything, but it does seem that the worst is behind us. My bridesmaids are keeping me on track with the wedding planning, bless them. I think I am an inherently lazy bride, and laziness + life craziness = one really apathetic bride. But I'm happy to report that I do have a wedding dress and all my girls have their dresses ordered! And Tyler and I did a cake tasting a few weeks ago, which I scheduled all by myself, thank you very much. Turns out this whole thing can be kind of fun! (Tyler: "I think that we should periodically pretend that we're engaged and planning a wedding so we can go get free cake.") (No, but seriously. It was delightful.)

I can't believe it's already the last month of 2011, especially with everything that's happened. I've been thinking about what I want to write in my year in review post, which is actually what prompted me to get on this blog tonight. It's been so long since I've thought about blogging, and it was kind of a pleasant return to normalcy. I found myself trying to remember things that happened in March or April, and testing out different phrases to see how they sounded.

In hindsight, I probably should not have done it aloud on the Metro during rush hour, but whatever, I still wasn't the creepiest person in the car. DC is full of freaks, yo.

new place, new job, new things

Well, a lot has changed since I last posted. For one thing, that post on June 10 was apparently the last one I would do as a single woman (engaged June 11), an Chicagoland employee (last day June 24) and Evanston tenant (moved to DC July 13). And I guess you could say it was the last time my future plans were truly my own. Now it's shared with many people, more people than I'd ever imagined.

I don't mean that in an overly dramatic way or anything like that. The two months have just been...a lot. But I'm alive! I'm renting a bedroom in a charming little townhouse with a retired couple who are just as nice as could be. I'm within walking distance of a metro stop, a grocery store, a shopping mall, and a church. My new job is great, I really like my co-workers, and its location is definitely exciting.

But I miss the Midwest. I think about it every day: the weather; the landscape; the people; the pace. I know I grew up here in NoVA, but the Midwest really was where I felt like home. Well, w/o my family and friends there, but you know what I mean. There was kind of a peace there that I never found in DC, what with all the endless political drama next door and all these transient ambitions walking around, each one as faceless as the next. I can't tell anyone apart here, everyone's wearing the same Banana Republic shirt and non-descript slacks. And things are just so go-go-go, all the time. I look at my Facebook profile picture and can hardly believe that leaping, joyous creature was me a scant two months ago.

Okay, so now I am being overly dramatic. So sue me. If you need to know, either you already do, or you know how to contact me. Nothing personal or any details are going on this blog, so if you want to ask or talk about anything, please message me privately. Just wanted you to know that I am indeed alive and kicking. And I haven't lost my ring yet, though I came close twice (scarily clumsy...).

Oh, and a note to DC tourists who insist on traveling around rush hour time: stand right, walk left. This clueless little family accidentally took up both sides of the escalator going down into the metro stop. Very careless. Almost started a riot.

And I kind of want to cut my hair.

and so it is done

And so it is done: my boss has been told, my 2 weeks notice has been given, and I'm set to move back to DC and start my new job July. What a whirlwind the last few weeks have been!

Of course, I'm excited about the new job and getting to see my friends and family again, but it's not without some sadness to be leaving Chicago, which I still consider the best city in the world. After all, this is really where I came into my own as an adult. It's where I got my first real job; leased and maintained an apartment; bought furniture; learned how to cook; fell in love. Why would I ever want to leave a place that holds so many memories of fond achievements and challenges overcome? It's the first place where I was really and truly on my own, and I can't help but have a special place in my heart for it. Kind of like a first real love, maybe.

I think the most difficult part is the realization that, well...this move to DC might be for the long-run. I never planned to move back to Virginia. Never, ever. I've always wanted to live in a big city, always dreamed of high-rises and ample public transportation (I know; I'm a romantic). Chicago fit the bill to the tee. DC never figured into my plans.

But in a way, this job opportunity in DC follows a trend I've noticed throughout the big decisions in my life. After all, I very narrowly did not come to Chicago at all -- my main plan had been to move to New York City, where I had friends. I still don't know why I picked Northwestern over CUNY. It's much like how I don't know why I pulled myself out of Fulbright consideration when I'd spent 2 years fine-tuning my application. Or why I ultimately picked W&M when I'd wanted to go to UVA throughout high school. Or why I decided to date a guy I'd only known for 2 weeks in a brand new city, who very well might've been some sort of serial killer. (I guess he still could be, hmm.) But I just did. And it's not like I was particularly confident about my decisions afterward. There was always a point where I would just be like "What are you doing???? Why?!?!?!!? What makes you think this is a good idea???????"

That same sort of lost, confused and terrified feeling I felt back then is the same one I'm feeling now, but like even more magnified b/c of the fact that things are more than just about me now. It's also about my Possible Serial Killer Man Friend, who had plans of his own. And those plans def did not include the possibility of settling down in the East Coast. I think we grew up a lot in the last few weeks in having to consider one another as individuals and as partners. At least, that's how I felt; he might just be thinking of ways to use it to his advantage for the rest of our lives.

Hypothetical household dialogue:
T: I want a cookie.
V: No. We're going out to dinner with my parents in 3 minutes, and it will spoil your appetite.
T: I WANT A COOKIE NOW.
V: NO.
T: But I moved all this way from Chicago to DC--
V: Okay, okay, here, eat the %*$@*! cookie.

But I digress. Where was I? Right, so it's like this intense anxiety I have about maybe having just totally screwed everything up is a reminder that there are bigger plans than my own. Everything that came out of this deep crazy lost feeling has always worked out better than I'd ever dreamed. And that's a comforting thought. There are my plans and then there are His Plans. And based on the incredible nervousness I have and my inability to really explain why I'm doing what I'm doing, this DC thing is def part of Plans with a gigantic capital P.

That, or it really is a huge mistake, bad idea, really just screwed everything up, etc. Ahhh! Ahhhh!!!!

overheard

I meant to write this a while back but it totally slipped my mind until Tyler requested that I re-tell this story to his family when we visited this past weekend. So here it is:

Several weeks ago, I was shopping at Ann Taylor LOFT because they were having a storewide sale. I picked out a couple of shorts and sweaters to try on and went to the dressing room, where there were two Indian American girls in the stalls next to me. I had noticed them earlier b/c they looked to be about my age and I was totally and completely jealous that they were laughing and shopping together while I foraged the racks by all by my lonesome.

Anyway, they continued their spirited discussions in the dressing room. Being a shameless eavesdropper and having a lot of experience in girl-talk, my ears immediately perked up at the first whiff of gossip. (The tone in which you gossip is universal, I believe.) This is the amazing conversation that took place:

Girl A: So you know how my brother is living with that girl that he's totally not sleeping with? I mean, like everyone knows that they're sleeping together, but they insist that they're just friends?

Girl B: Oh yeah, totally. Are your parents still pissed about that?

A: Oh absolutely. Because they don't believe them for a second! And you know, they're still very traditional Indian, and they really disapprove of the fact that he's living with this girl. I mean, my brother's all like "We have two bedrooms, and we're just friends," but it's like, seriously? My parents aren't stupid.

B: Right, right. Parents always know.

A: Exactly. Always. So anyway, a couple weeks ago, my parents went over to my brother's for dinner. You know, they meet the girl, and my brother's still insisting that they're just friends and everything. So my mom is walking around the apartment, and I guess they have a cabinet of like nice silverware and whatever. So my mom is looking at it, and she's like "Oh, this is a very beautiful spoon." And the girl comes over and is like "Yes, thank you," and they talk about the spoon and my mom just keeps on admiring it. Like she really likes this spoon. But they go on, they have dinner and my parents leave, and everything is fine, right?

B: Uh oh.

A: Right. Well, a couple days after the dinner, the girl goes up to my brother and is like "I'm not accusing your mom or anything, but the thing is, you know that spoon she was looking at when she came over? Well, it's missing and I can't find it anywhere, and I think maybe she might've taken it." And my brother is like "No way, she couldn't have stolen it." And the girl is like "Well, like I said, I don't want to accuse your mom, but I know she really liked it, and now it's gone."

B: No! No way! Nooooo!! She didn't?!?! There's no way!!!!

A: Hang on, just wait! So finally my brother calls my mom a few days ago and is like "Mom, I'm not accusing you of stealing my roommate's spoon, but the fact is, it's missing from our apartment and she remembers that you really liked it." And my mom goes, "Well, I'm not accusing you of sleeping with that girl, but the fact is, if she was really sleeping in her own bed, she would've found that spoon by now."

/end

I. LOVE. IMMIGRANT. PARENTS.

things to eat on a tuesday

Breakfast:
- Vanilla Chobani yogurt (what can I say, it's growing on me) with handful of Quaker Oatmeal Squares cereal
- Smallish banana with peanut butter
- 3 potato chips
- Large cup of coffee

Lunch:
- Large wedge of soppressata
- One chocolate-covered cake donut from Jewel-Osco
- One golden Oreo
- 3 mugs of water (soppressata is, apparently, quite salty. And greasy. And delicious. But I'm going to have to pee for like 5 hours later, which is great b/c I have a 2-hour commute home.)

Currently fantasizing about:
- Baked mezzi rigatoni covered with homemade tomato sauce and melted provolone
- Udon with tempura and poached egg (oh! what I wouldn't give to go to Tachibana!)
- Chocolate mousse cake from Dominick's (must convince Tyler to take me)

Why, yes, I am an adult responsible for all manner of very important things, such as feeding myself. I think the more I grow up, the bolder I become at flagrantly defying food rules. Which is kind of like saying, the more I grow up, the more I eat the way I wanted to eat as a child.

It's just a fatty kind of Tuesday. (A...fat Tuesday! Ha!)

So I need some advice: apparently I had purchased a large tub of cookie dough in May of last year, and I've only consumed about a quarter of it (it's a very large tub; and I know it was last May b/c I mark all my foods with dates). It's been sitting in my freezer all this time, frozen and forgotten until I unearthed it a few days ago in my search for ice cream. Can I still eat this cookie dough, or will it destroy me?