do NOT mess with my cupcakes

I am pissed. Someone stole my cupcakes.

Let me back up.

Carolyn, a friend from high school, asked me a while ago if I'd ever been to Molly's Cupcakes in Chicago. I said no, but I'd heard of good things. Turns out she and some of her coworkers have been debating over the merits of Molly's Cupcakes vs DC's Georgetown Cupcakes. Splitting off, taking sides, etc--your typical Cupcake War.

They needed a neutral moderator to settle this debate once and for all. Since Molly's does not ship, Carolyn proposed that she mail me some Georgetown Cupcakes, and then I try them both and tell her which one I think is better. Never one to pass up on cupcakes, I said okay. Since I'll be going home in May, I thought I could try to smuggle some Molly's onto the plane to return the favor.

A few weeks go by. We're all very busy. I still haven't been able to make it down to Molly's. Then, on Wednesday night, I get a text from Carolyn asking me if I had received the package yet. I hadn't, but this was not out of the ordinary b/c the mail system at my apartment is a little slow. Because our mail boxes are so narrow, packages must be dropped off at the leasing office, whereupon they will put a package slip in your mailbox so you'll know you got one and can go pick it up. I didn't get a slip, but I was sure I would the next day.

But Carolyn got the FedEx delivery receipt, and it said it was left on the doorstep on Wednesday at noon, meaning it didn't make its way to the leasing office. I called the office a couple times yesterday and even sent Tyler to check the doorway to see if there were any boxes, but there was no sign of this package. Finally, I called the office again in the afternoon and asked if there was a procedure for me to report this stolen package. The receptionist at the leasing office (whom I'm developing a rapid dislike of) said, sounding rather annoyed, "But the mailmen are supposed to know to drop off packages with us."

Well, yes, they're supposed to. But there is no sign anywhere on the door/mailboxes that says this. She could not reasonably expect every single FedEx employee who passes through Evanston to know the idiosyncrasies of every single apartment building in the city. Ms. Receptionist said she'd send out a notice to let people know that my package was stolen and for people to look out for it. That's a nice gesture, Ms. Receptionist, but USELESS, you idiot woman. There is a bigger issue here: mail theft! Your lack of concern/seeming inability to grasp the deeper problem at hand is incredibly frustrating. What I want is to prevent this from happening again, not for someone to turn in an empty box of crumbs! I mean, what if Carolyn had mailed me important business papers, or tax information? Or something sentimental, like a photo album? Should that be left up to a delivery man (who is given absolutely no instruction on the proper place to deliver packages) and the moral conscience of my neighbors?? I sent off a somewhat fiesty email to Management last night, but have yet to receive a response. I'm sorry, but sending a notice for people to "look out for" my package is not enough. (Also, I have yet to receive said notice. Where is it, lady?) Stealing someone's mail is a crime, and I think my building should do more to prevent it from happening again.

So, Anonymous Cupcakes Stealer, I hope you know you committed a federal offense in taking my package. I hope you enjoyed the delicious specialty cupcakes that my friend sent me from Virginia. I hope you feel so guilty about eating stolen cupcakes that you will never, ever, EVER again in your life enjoy another cupcake without feeling like the sick, disgusting, greedy and unscrupulous person that you are.