Despite an intense fear of salmonella, I willfully ignore all dietary precautions to consume obscene quantities of raw chocolate chip cookie dough. I like it because it eats like ice cream that doesn't melt. And if you know a thing or two about me, it's that ice cream cones carry a certain precariousness because of how slow I eat. Super yummy.
But what I do not like is the Spicy Chicken Nuggets from Wendy's. Yes, it is spicy. And I guess it's technically chicken. But what they don't tell you is that it will burn away your taste buds in a burst of processed fire, rendering you unable to speak or swallow. Your ears will pop from shock and you will then just sit there, blinking rapidly and sniffling as your tummy does a 180 degree back flip as it tries to figure out if it can, indeed, digest chemically spiced plastic. Which is terrific, especially if you're in the middle of a long road trip.
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