golf extravaganza

On Saturday, I stood within 5 feet of Tiger Woods in Kohler, Wisconsin.

We were standing between the 3rd and 4th holes, and he walked right by us on his way to the tee. He wore a dark blue shirt and grey pants, and only stopped his scowling long enough to lift a hand in acknowledgement of two bikini-clad girls screaming at him from a boat on Lake Michigan. I was crinkling my way through a bag of gummie bears (much to the chagrin of the "quiet please" ppl), and Tyler really wanted me to offer one to Tiger, but I was afraid that he'd either bite me (pun!) or his hoard of security ppl would throw me out. It was pretty cool though. He's much taller in real life than I thought he'd be. After he tee'd off, he slammed his club back into his bag (it only went partially in--how embarrassing) and stalked off towards the green.

I've never been to any sort of golf event before, so getting to go to the PGA Tour with Tyler and his dad was pretty exciting. It was super hot and humid, despite the cloud-cover. We were all sweating buckets and I made everyone put on sunscreen so we wouldn't get burnt to a lobster crisp.

Golf is a curious sport. For one thing, most of the bystanders look like wandered out of a prep school. I've never seen so many people wearing khaki shorts in one place! (Disclaimer: I was wearing khaki flood pants, not b/c I am a serious golf fan, but b/c they're the lightest pair of pants that I have.) The problem is that khakis are very unforgiving if you happen to sweat even a little bit. Lots of visibly damp butts walking around. You can tell someone's a really hardcore fan if they're wearing a ball cap, a short-sleeve polo and LONG khaki pants instead of shorts. It's intense, man. Their fandom radiates off of them in the form of intense silence when the PGA "quiet please" staff raise their arms. Woe to any person who might be walking on gravel or padding through the grass when those arms go up! This one lady was scolding her kid when the "quiet" arms went up, and instead of people being like "Well, I guess she's in the middle of child-rearing," it was like "Will that woman shut up already?! JEEZ. The NERVE of some people!" It really was quite amazing.

Anyway, the whole experience of it was pretty fun, but I'm glad it's only in Wisconsin every 5 years or something like that. Not sure if I can handle another one with Tyler, should we have the chance to go next year! It was a long day though, because we headed out around 5:30am, then basically drove straight back down to Danville, and didn't get in until around 1:30 or so this morning. I was fading hard...thank goodness Tyler was better at staying awake than I was, especially since he was driving!

So now I'm chilling out in the Blue living room (incidentally, it is filled with blue furniture), watching Sudden Death Golf with Tyler's dad and sister, Madeline. There is nothing quite like Sudden Death Golf, y'all...