highly sensitive information

So recently, I was reading the December issue of Marie Claire before I went to bed when I came across this fascinating article: Are You Too Sensitive? I took the accompanying quiz, which asks you to answer True or False to a series of questions. The more Trues, the more likely that you are what the article's expert calls a "Highly Sensitive Personality," or HSP for short.

I answered True for 21 of the questions.

I don't know, maybe some of you out there are nodding your heads and going, "We could've told you that without some stupid quiz" but honestly, I was a little bit surprised. I thought I had my various neuroses pretty well under control! But in thinking about it more, I guess I do exhibit a number of the HSP signs, and some of it actually does explain my rather extensive collection of fears. Some examples:

- I get really tense if people around me are angry or upset or talking loudly. Political shows on TV and the radio are the worst, because I usually don't even know why they're so angry.

- I avoid eating with people I don't know very well at all costs. Part of it is b/c I eat really slowly and I don't want to be judged, but the other part is having to make small talk.

- The three seconds before I get to my desk are always nerve-wracking, b/c I have to ready myself to say good morning to my new cubicle neighbor. Then, right before I leave, I fret about having to say have a nice evening. I don't know why. He moved in like a month ago. You'd think I'd be better about it by now.

And I don't know if this really has anything to do with HSP, but, as you probably know, I am Queen Grudgeholder of All the Land. Not with people I like; I forgive my friends easily. But I am definitely one of those people who you don't want as an ex with a score to settle (ex-girlfriend, ex-friend, ex-girlfriend's friend). I am an angsty writer, after all, which means I basically have no scruples when it comes to pulling real-life events into my writing (read: ranting online).

I was thinking about this when Facebook so kindly revealed that an ex-boyfriend was now in a relationship with a girl he'd long denied being in a relationship with. (Ugh, prepositions. Hate them. Can't figure out right now how to end that sentence properly. But I digress.) Our whole dating nonsense was over a few years ago anyhow, so normally this wouldn't be a big deal except I'd suspected them of having a thing going on while he and I were still dating. But I didn't want to be the nagging girlfriend, and b/c I'm generally pretty lenient/borderline doormat with the people I love, I let it slide.

Of course, he denied it. A few months after our break-up, my intuition told me that they were seeing each other. He denied it. She denied it. But that suspicion persisted, esp when he spent holidays at her house, esp since she basically moved in with him, esp when there were photo albums of their coupliness, etc. For years, they both straight-up denied it everyone, even to his roommate. He told our mutual friends he didn't like her at all; he said he didn't find her attractive; he even called me paranoid for asking him about it. But most of all, he refused to apologize.

WELL.They've apparently made it Facebook official, so who's paranoid now?! Vindication is sweet. I love being right.

Here's the thing: it's not like I spend all my time being vengeful or whatever; it just pops up when some reminder of it re-surfaces. And trust me, I don't take any pleasure in holding grudges b/c it makes me feel incredibly guilty that I'm not able to forgive someone. Yeah, sure, I joke about it, but it really is something that I work on. This ex-boyfriend thing is just the most current example; there are a couple more, some from much farther back, some that only concern me indirectly (such someone hurting a close friend). But if I feel that someone has wronged me/someone I care about, it's hard for me to really and truly "get over it" until that person acknowledges what they've done.

Is this me being too sensitive? Or is this something that everyone goes through? Also, you think HSP is real, or do you think it's just a bunch of psychology-jargon to legitimize emotionally sensitive or, yes, possibly paranoid people?