inaugural chicago snow day

Happy First Snow Day Since 1999! (Midwesterners: Hasn't it been fun? And did you know that, in VA, we have at least 3 snow days a year? May be something you guys want to consider having more often.)

I'm not sure exactly how it works, but the snow seemed to like, amplify every single street light last night. Like my room was lit up, bright yellow, all night. Throw in the crazy wind, a little lightning, a little thunder, and it felt a bit like sleeping in a train tunnel.

So what did I do with my snow day?

WELL. I wish I could say I was super productive, like "worked from home" or "shoveled the front walk for elderly neighbors" but that would be 1. a lie and 2. I don't have a shovel, a front walk or elderly neighbors. I'm a little bit ashamed to say that I basically spent all day cleaning out my pantry/closet and eating whatever I find. I realize that sounds kind of gross...and yes, it kind of was. This is what I've done today:

- Roll out of bed and examine the weather situation. Can barely see outside. Still tons of snow falling. Check my work email, respond to a few messages. Log off.

- Find two vacuum-sealed packages of tie dan, delicious little bird eggs sent to me from my mom God only knows when, and they were still yummy. Love that vacuum seal! And the fact that tie dan is basically like tasty, rubberized eggs. Eat two eggs.

- Work out for 20 minutes to "Buff Moms: Beyond Baby Body Workout." This is because I naturally basically have a post-baby body and this workout has actually been very helpful in toning the side-hip-fat area. Also it was like $4 or something at a thrift store, so...yeah.

- Check work email again as I recover, red-faced, from the Baby Mama workout.

- Step on the scale. Weight as expected.

- Shower. Go right back into my pjs, b/c I am a bum.

- Eat a banana while I cook a bowl of Neoguri ramen with one egg. Think affectionately of the last time I saw Neoguri, which was at Steph's apartment in December.

- Curl up on the couch with a blanket and watch an episode of CSI: Las Vegas. Spike is one of the few channels that I still have after downgrading to a cheaper cable package. (No MTV, VH1, TLC, OR the History Channel! How am I going to get my What Not to Wear or Ancient Aliens fix?! Gahhh. But that is a story of woe for another day.)

- Notice a Lindt truffle ball hiding in a pile of coupons on my coffee table. I eat it.

- Remember that I had another package of truffles that I lifted from Tyler's apartment (he doesn't like dark chocolate and was just going to give it away anyway). Dig it out from the back of my fridge. Eat two pieces.

- Remember a Marie Claire article I read about women and their sex numbers, as in, the number of people they've slept with. I look up one of the women they profiled, Lena Chen, who began blogging about her sexual experiences when she was a student at Harvard. Briefly consider interviewing her for Hyphen as some sort of Valentine special for my February column. Then, I thought 1. she's a very good writer, so she'd probably want to write it herself, and 2. she's kind of like a female Tucker Max, and I just don't know how I feel about that.

- Ponder the merits of internet over-share and personal branding. Lena's found pretty steady writing gigs as a result of the popularity of her sex blog. Should I blog about the intimate details of my personal life? ...Would anyone care to read things like "Gave Tyler a package of new socks today. He said thanks"? Not exactly titillating topics.

- While feeling bizarrely depressed about my lack of random sexual encounters, I find a tin of chocolate hazelnut pirouettes that I received from Tyler's mom for my birthday. Debate bringing it to the Super Bowl Party this weekend. Decide that a bunch of smelly gross guys probably don't want to eat frilly girly food. Eat three pirouettes.

- Weigh myself again. Have gained 3 pounds since the morning. Eye the tin of pirouettes longingly, but put it away on top of the fridge. 3 pounds! Since this morning?! Whyyyy.

- Overcome by afternoon lethargy. Feeling kind of sleepy and still irrationally grumpy about not having a very interesting sexual history. Root around in my pantry/closet again and find a stray package of Taiwanese milk tea in a bag next to my new boots. Very odd. But very delicious. The caffeine perks up my brain and I think, "I might not have gone to Harvard or started a national conversation about feminism, but people also don't call me a morally reprehensible whore." Gotta count my blessings, right?

And now I'm here, watching the day turn grey, trying to decide what to eat for dinner, and dreading going back to work tomorrow. All in all, a nice and enjoyable snow day, even if I don't have a sex blog to show for it.