more things that bother me

It's been a busy few weeks, but I'm happy to report that I am still fairly sane, mostly healthy and have not been arrested for any crimes. I flew to Virginia the week of Labor Day and just had the best time ever seeing family and friends again. It really made me realize how much I missed the East Coast, and all that comes with it, especially that peculiar mix of sophistication, ambition and utter geekiness. My mom sent me back to Chicago with my luggages crammed with homesickness. It's kind of funny...I've always thought of myself as a traveler, a wanderer. But increasingly, I've come to discover that I have a very strong attachment to important players in my life, not unlike one of those harnesses that overly cautious moms subject their small children to. In this case, it seems like my harness has multiple leashes, each tugging me back to the East Coast.

I know. What a sap. So I've decided to get out of my funk by taking another hard look at the things that bother me. I am, after all, incredibly superficial, petty and spiteful. What better cure for homesickness than indulging in those weaknesses? Here goes:

1. People who, after pouring themselves a cup of coffee, leave just dregs in the morning pot. Um, hello. It is 8:30 in the freakin' morning. You are not the only one who is going to stumble into the copy room to get a cuppa. It will literally take you an additional 10 seconds to dump out the old coffee ground, put in a new filter, rip open a packet of pre-measured coffee, pour into the filter, push "brew" and then walk away. Literally 10 seconds. The machine takes care of everything. You don't actually have to measure anything at all! Why would you leave half a swallow of coffee in the pot and force the next person who comes in to fix it and then wait around for the coffee to brew?? There is a special circle of punishment for you, oh Thou Who Refuseth to Refill Coffee Pot Person.

2. Taylor Swift. I get it. You're very quirky and sensitive, and you excel in writing revenge songs disguised as folk tunes. But for goodness' sake, you are almost 21. Just how many times can you prance around in variations of a prom dress and recycle the themes of "that jerk just up and left me; by the way he's really going to regret it" and "when will that dreamboat with the b-word girlfriend ever like me?" But worst of all, why, WHY are all of your songs so freakin' catchy??? "Today was a Fairytale" is just about the dumbest song I've ever heard, yet I know most of it by heart. So please pick some new themes to sing about b/c I no longer wish to relive the angsty awkwardness of my high school love attempts every time your stupid songs come on the radio.

3. Periwinkle; or, as I like to call it, the bastard child of baby blue, lilac, and death. The blue family doesn't want you. The purple family doesn't want you, either. I can see where periwinkle might be nice as a flower or maybe as a (very) small accent, but there is just no excuse for things like periwinkle dishes, tablecloths or drapes. God help you if your bridezilla chooses to encases you in shiny periwinkle satin. The only person who can pull off this bastard shade is Queen Elizabeth II, but only because she's very old, has lived through World War II, and, um, is the effin' Queen of England, so she can do what she wants. Everyone else: lay off.