me vs dishwasher

I don't know if it's because I'm Asian or because I have deep-abiding trust issues, but I do not trust my dishwasher to do anything other than hold my dishes while they dry.

Yes, I realize that thousands and millions of Americans regularly use their dishwashers and everything comes out squeaky clean and beautiful. But that has not been my experience. Part of it is that my mom, who is Asian and adorable, also has trust issues regarding her dishwasher. (Truth be told, though, she has trust issues with everyone regarding clean dishes. She absolutely hates it when I do the dishes, though it may also be b/c I've broken like 3 of her nice drinking glasses while trying washing them. But I digress.) So I grew up watching my mom do dishes by hand, and so, naturally, when I started living on my own, that's what I did, too.

Turns out I have a lot of the same dishwashing issues as my mom. My boyfriend is a very smart, tidy, and generally careful sort of person, and I still hold my breath whenever he does my dishes. Sometimes I'll be over at his place and I'll re-wash all the dishes in his drying rack b/c a fork will look a little smudgy.

So last night, I made roast lamb and potatoes and homemade bread, and the pans were looking a bit crusty. Normally, I would just wash the dishes, then soak everything else and do a scrub in the morning. But no, I thought, "Tonight I will conquer my fear! According to commercials, dishwashers can take care of day-old lasagna pans; surely it can handle a little roasting pan or two!" I let the pans soak for about half an hour while we watched the Chicago Code (I think the main character looks a lot like Tyler! Not only b/c he's white and has brown hair). Then, Tyler helped me load the dishwasher and set it to "Heavy Washing." I went to bed thinking, "Well, that wasn't so bad! It was pretty easy, actually. This could be something I could get used to! I hope it works."

WELL. I woke up this morning and hastened to the kitchen to check on my dish-cleaning status.

Horrible. It was horrible. The pans were not clean; a bowl had turned over and was filled with brownish gunk; my chopsticks fell through the little grate and was under the dishwasher's blades. I was so unhappy. I couldn't bear to leave the dishes in such an unhappy state, but I had to go to work. So I decided to just let it run again, and hopefully when I get home, things will look a bit more manageable and I can do a real scrubbing.

What am I doing wrong? How is it that like, 95% of America (I'm basing this percentage on the fact that Asians make up only about 4.5% of the total population) can operate a dishwasher properly but I am a total dishwasher fail?!!? I am a college grad! I have a Master's degree! I can put on eye make-up evenly! So WHY can't I get my dishwasher to clean my dishes properly?!?!

So I guess I'm going to stick with washing dishes by hand from here on out, unless someone can explain to me what I'm doing wrong. I know that if I don't run the darn thing occasionally, my plumbing will mold over or explode or whatever. So sometimes I'll put it on rinse and let it get everything swished around. But if Asian moms have one thing right, it's that dishwashers are the devil.